Smile

the ocean air the taste of salt on my lips wind in my hair the water raising a glass spiced rum Autumn a strong embrace chowder, lobster, steamers laughter New England

I am not really able to write these days. My work habits are sporadic. Though time is helping to distance me from that day with my father’s death, my husband and I have suffered yet another devastating loss. On Monday June 16th I received a phone call from our friend Gwen.

Another monumental "first" without my dad. What is normally a BBQ at my dad's place on Father's Day, turned out being a day we took flowers to the cemetary. Some people might think it's morbid, or "we're lingering too long on the past"... but for my mother, my sister and

In some weird and demented way, I don’t really want to get over what happened. I don’t want the memory of my dad to fade. This has been the most devastating event of my life.  Most of the time I just want to rewind. Seriously. Travel time backwards. Before May 3rd.

Below is one of my favorite photos of my dad. The moment captured, is as pure as it gets. He's happy and celebrating my wedding day. I love you so much dad.

It’s been two weeks and 2 days. The never ending feeling of extreme…. sadness, emptiness, loneliness, finality, anger, rage and despair is overwhelming.  Every night I pray. Not realistically. Not unselfish prayers, like my mother would be able to fill the whole in her heart. Not unselfish prayers, like our grief will soon

I thought about checking in with my parents on Friday night. It kept getting later and later, so I figured I'd call dad in the morning. As I went about my usual day, going to the post office, the store, I stopped at the jewelry store to have the gold

Yep. I'm doing it. Keeping up. Working my ass off, working out. Lab work is decent and I'm holding my own. Meds are manageable and I more than resemble a human being most days. Mentally I still feel early thirty something. But today I received a SHOCKINGLY, SOBERING reminder, while washing

Time flies, having fun or not. Good friends are worth their weight in gold. Good fortune has absolutely nothing to do with money. Cheers! Here's to a new year filled with good health, good friends and good fortune!

Hmmmm, looking forward to all those wonderful smells of thanksgiving dinner. Nephews running around, my dad's jokes, mom and dad's matching outfits (handmade by my mother of course), turkey, stuffing, my sister's fameous cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie with EXTRA whip cream, football games and laughter. But of course it all starts out