Smile

Every choice in my life has probably led me to this moment, right here, right now. Though I have no regrets, there are a few places in my life that would have ended up better, had I made a better choice. (Hind sight is always 20/20).

With the different chapters, or fazes of my life, I’ve laughed a ton, cried often, dreamed and learned a great deal… often the hard way. (This part I blame on my half Italian and half Irish decent). I’m not certain if I believe in fate or destiny. Meaning, had I made another choice, turned down a different road, would I still end up here? I do, however, believe we are ultimately responsible for ourselves, our lives and our impact on society and the planet. I also believe in cause and effect. You know… the old story of throwing a pebble into a still pond.

With pebbles being thrown into my pond constantly, I try and remain calm. I try and remain quick on my feet. I try and realize I’m not the first and unfortunately I won’t be the last.

I received my biopsy report. The good news is, there are NO pre-cancerous cells. Yet there were things that did identity my uterus is not the way it should be. Therefore next Wednesday, the 26th (unless they can squeeze me in sooner), I will be having my uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes and cervix removed. Unfortunately due to the size of the mass on my ovary, the lapriscopic method of removal (hysterectomy) which is less invasive, with a quicker recovery time - won’t be an option for me. Nope. I was told yesterday they would have to “gut me like a fish”. Just a bigger pebble into the pond I guess.

Yet I feel somewhat comforted having been through surgery in January, the upcoming procedure will pale in comparison to my pituitary surgery. Am I afraid? Yes. Do I wish this weren’t happening? Yes. Am I hoping to catch a fricken’ break? Absolutely. But today I will be working on my attitude and try to find some positive reasons why this is happening. I will try and be grateful surgery and hormone replacement will give me yet another new lease on life.
((rolling up my sleeves))
Smile