Smile

It’s approaching the longest piece of time between lab tests, that I’ve had, since this whole thing started. I don’t want to jinx myself or anything…. but my energy level has been up, weight is down and the headaches (most days) are manageable.

My hair while still falling out, I believe is still a side effect of the meds. I’m not losing my eye brows, eye lashes, arm air, or anywhere else… just the hair on my head. At times I think it’s no big deal, as I’ve been known to once sport a purple mohawk for 48 hours.

But I really did have long, beautiful, dark hair.

Once.

Now it’s a bad joke. I find myself doing what people do when they lose their hair. Wear hats, wear it up, flip it over… spray stuff in it to make it appear bigger. Ha!

Most days, on the inside ,I still feel like me (with a few more scars of course), but still the old me.
Strong, young (in mind), happy, together….
just don’t look in the mirror…..
don’t do it….
don’t….
CRAP!

Is that middle aged, balding, dark circled under the eyes woman with the needle marks in her arms, really me? Is it???
smile